For those that don’t know what these new featurettes will be about, here is the scoop! “You’ll Never Believe…” will feature the weirdest questions or encounters that authors have been asked/had. Might be about their books or random things, like meetings in a bathroom where someone asked what brand of toilet paper they normally use. Fun stuff and inside scoops that an author would not normally share.
Today’s “You’ll Never Believe…” celebrates the release of Melanie Jayne’s latest book, The Party Plan. So… she just divorced from a con man and is ready for someone she’s wanted forever and… “Kade has been attracted to his sister’s best friend for twenty years. In the beginning Avery was too innocent, then she was married and he was busy working hard and playing harder. The plan is simple, after tonight’s party for their godson’s engagement, Avery is going home with Kade. One night of sex with no strings, that’s the plan.”
But first! Melanie lets us into her very “handsy”, panicky experience with a body shaper…
You’ll Never Believe by Melanie Jayne:
Hmm, the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me? Well this story is both strange and a bit humiliating. Back in the nineties, I was very busy competing as an amateur in the ballroom dancing world. I loved it, the ballgowns, the make-up, and the travel, plus my body was toned. I have never been a small woman, it just isn’t in my genetic make-up. I was a size ten with an hourglass figure.
I was visiting a girlfriend and fellow dancer in Grand Rapids, Michigan and we decided to go shopping for evening gowns for an upcoming event. Diann had a personal shopper at this upscale store, you know the kind that has large dressing rooms with comfy chairs. We took our evening gown selections into “our” dressing room to try- on and the personal shopper was in and out sharing her opinion. I found a dress that I really liked and the shopper ran her hands down my waist to my hips and announced that I needed a shaper to improve the look.
A shaper? I’m thinking an undergarment like my mom wore that was all rubbery and ugly. The shopper told me that, shapers had improved. They were light-weight and attractive. She dashed out and soon returned with the garment.
I eyed what looked like thin shorts, warily. They looked really small.
The shopper assured me that it was made of a miracle fiber that could stretch and hold my jiggles in place.
It was a size medium. I wore a medium Men’s t-shirt but I had never fit into anything that size for my bottom half. No way, no how.
The shopper stood her ground and I took off the gown and then started to pull on the shaper. Above my knees, I began to use more muscle. I could feel the compression kicking in. At this point the shopper stepped closer and grabbed the back side of the waistband and pulled. My friend, Diann, was watching with a horrified look on her face. The shopper told her to lend a hand at the side.
So now I had six hands attempting to pull up this undergarment. I might add that there were hands how touching parts of me that you usually needed to buy me a few drinks before touching if you were a man.
The shopper said, “We need to pull together, we are so close.”
I think the top was close to my mid hip area. So she counted and we all jerked upward on three. I was lifted off my feet, and then we did it AGAIN.
The shaper was now in place. I felt like I was being squeezed and it was uncomfortable. The shopper told me to put the gown on so I could see the difference the shaper made.
I did look smoother and the dress looked even better, however I was having problems breathing and I felt like my thighs were trying to escape out of the bottom of the leg openings. I freaked out. I started pulling the gown off and then I yelled, “GET IT OFF!”
The ladies tried to remove the shaper but it wouldn’t budge. I think someone scratched my back trying to insert their fingers between the waistband and my body. Finally, someone called for scissors and I had to be cut out of this implement of pain.
Do you know that the shopper tried to charge me for the shaper!! Diann made it clear that I was not going to pay for that experience and after another scene, the store gave me the gown with an apology.
I admit that from time to time, I will put on a pair of Spanx but they are never too tight. I learned that lesson.