Book Review – Disorderly Conduct: The Academy by Tessa Bailey

Disorderly Conduct: The Academy
<— Okay… first. Let’s talk about the most obvious thing, one that will either sell this book, or completely turn some of us off, without even looking at the blurb. Yep. That cover. *giggle* Okay… okayyyyyyyy. I know what you’re thinking.

Right? *ahem* Stripper cop??? Seriously?

I can promise you, my friends, no. THIS BOOK WAS SO FUN and I’m so attached to these characters, I’m going to tell you right now, YES I judged this book by its cover, and NO it wasn’t in a good way, and yet, in the end?

This one is going to make my best of 2017 list. Easily. I must say, despite the *ahem* stripper-like cover, this book is not “all cocky”. In fact, it’s exceptionally funny, and endearing and of course SUPER-HOT and I LOVE these characters and this story BIG TIME!!!

Not to say that there’s no value in the cover. I can recognize a “hot cop” er, I mean… guy (cop or not), when I see one. 😉 I know this kind of over-the-top “sexy” sells for sure. There are two schools of thought on a cover like this.

Some say HOT and OMG I gotta read this (’cause you just know you’re in for a cocky steamfest, and how can we resist?). And then there’s… some of us, that saw that cover and said er. Um. Nope. *eyeroll* How could this possibly be an enriching read?

I was that girl. I was that one, that even though I KNOW Tessa Bailey is awesome, and her love stories are romantically intense, as well as steamy, and in fact, she’s the whole shebang (’cause she’s funny, too – and I mean the kind of LAUGH OUT LOUD no matter who is around you, kind of funny), and yet, I had my doubts on this one.

This book delivered in every possible way. Sure, it was… on the lighter side of what I usually read, but there is SUBSTANCE AND FUN here. Seriously. I didn’t think I’d be able to connect to the heroine and her “just benefits nothing more” needs, but OMG I completely got her (and felt everything she was feeling). And if I could have my choice of the perfect version of obnoxiously-bossy-but-sweet-even-if-he’s-over-the-top… this is the guy. I LOVED HIM!!!!

Maryse: I’m actually reading Disorderly Conduct by Tessa Bailey (the one with the stripper-cop cover that made me smirk… or maybe that was a frown… maybe a bit of an eyebrow waggle too  )… might have even turned me off the book, but I had it and I was in the mood for a good hot-cop story, and OMG this book is SO MUCH better than the cover.

And I mean… I may just give it 5 stars. It has had me laughing out loud seriously…(he doesn’t realize it, but he’s freaking hilarious) and my heart in my throat half the time. It’s a bit typical, predictable contemporary romance (nobody wants to commit etc etc…) but there’s something about the way the author wrote the characters (their dialogue and she has the GUY thoughts and reactions PERFECT!!!!) that I am absolutely in love with this book. I believe this story and I’m really connected to their feelings. I FEEL IT.

Plus, he’s wonderfully obnoxious and possessive and bossy but sweet and in his own way… romantic (even though he’s not trying to be – you’ll see…. OMG he’ll steal your heart so many times), and the stuff he does to sabotage … things. LOL!!!!!!

I’m even reading the steamy (and I. Mean. STEAMYYYYY!!!) scenes, not a skim to be found. Yeah. This one, you’d not know it by that cover, but it’s really REALLY good.

Okay.  This author can write a gooooooood love story.

Jean: Sounds like you found another great one for us Maryse!

Tessa: Oooh, that sounds great, Maryse.  

Leslie: Speaking of covers….Maryse, I am glad you are enjoying

Disorderly Conduct ’cause that cover is awful. 

Maryse: LOL!! Isn’t it, though?? *snort* Stripper-cop… I don’t know why they went with that, but it’s actually great!

Yep. I fell in love. This is one of my “hurricane Irma” relief books, and it kept me company and made me smile, laugh and swoon the entire time! You guys. DO NOT MISS THIS BOOK. You want relief from a dark read, from an angsty heartbreaking read, or just something lighter and yet still all-consuming? This will give you that relief, take you out of that book funk, and get you back on that traditional (yet totally modern) contemporary romance track.

So what’s it about?

“Ever” was raised by a mother (and grandmother) that taught her falling in love would only hurt her. That to avoid heartache and dependency, she should strive to be a “mistress” (be it in the traditional sense, or just a “sex only” type of companion) all of her life, remaining independent, solely sufficient on herself (no man required) while benefiting from the temporary attention (and affection) of men. But then moving on to the next.

Nothing longer than a month. NEVER get attached. Never expect more. Never want more from a man.

…my mother said, “Ever Carmichael, you can have anything you want in this world. But don’t you dare believe a man when he says he can give it to you.”

And then one night, at a bar, she meets “Charlie” a sexy cop-in-training (from a long line of exemplary police officers) that is only too happy to oblige.

Just as I begin to reverse directions and head back to Nina, Blue Eyes shakes his head at me. “No, no.” he crooks a finger at me. “Finish what you started.”

Whoa baby. That quiver in my belly is bad news.

He too, is from a mentality that he will never be able to provide for the love, attention and need for a long term relationship. He’s married to his job. And she just wants to be his short-term mistress. What could possibly go wrong? 😉

I covet this little slice of heaven I’ve carved out, and I worry my roommates will make some crack to Ever about wedding bells – which is never happening – and blow the whole perfect situation to hell. Plus… they don’t need to know a damn thing about Ever. She’s mine. I’m hers. We’re ours.

Unofficially, of course.

Oh my my my my…. because when two young, perfectly beautiful, capable, and independent people get together, attraction at its peak, with that undeniable chemistry, and even accidental personal moments that peek through… well…

A fluttering occurs in the general direction of my chest. Oh. Ohhh no.

This is bad. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t gotten a little attached to Charlie.  He makes me feel safe. We have fun with the little time we allot ourselves. His lopsided smiles are the highlight of my day. But now he’s starting to feel guilty about leaving after sex. Have I projected my sort of attached-ness and he’s just responding out of decency? Legend has it, that’s how the decline starts. Decency. Then the decency turns into responsibility. Also known as the Mistress Kiss of Death.

This is why the one-month rule exists. Leave them before they leave you.

…attachments and bonding are bound to happen. And when it happens to these two? All hell breaks loose.

There’s a touch of discomfort to his jerky movements , as if he wasn’t all that sure about his argument, but he’d committed, so now it was ride or die.

“We were up front from the beginning, Ever. I don’t have time to cuddle on the couch with you and watch Fashion Police.”

Ohhhhhhh he DID NOT just say that. Oh yes. You are sooooooo going to get it, Charlie!!!!!!!!!

I find myself smiling back. Affection hits me so hard in the stomach, I almost fall back down on my knees.

Whoa. Whoa.

I need to get out of here. Something is different.

AND the silly alpha-male possessive hijinks. Trust me. You will be laughing your heart out. Charlie is delightfully and infuriatingly obnoxious.
YAY US!!!!!

LOL! EVERYONE. EVERY. ONE. Please… if you love romance, you will LOVE this. It may not be super-angsty. It may not be the most emotionally intense, life-revealing, eye-opening story of your soul. But what it is, is a perfect amount of everything we love in a contemporary romance novel. Hot, hilarious, butterfly-inducing, a little bit heartbreaking, super steamy, swoon worthy perfection.

4.5 stars <— That’s right. Almost 5 stars, for the book with the cover that I almost bypassed. Don’t make that mistake. Read this.

P.S. Thank you to the publisher for sending me this review copy. I almost missed it, but I am SO thankful I decided I needed something light and fun. This was all that and SO much more.