Book Review – Every Wrong Reason by Rachel Higginson

Every Wrong Reason (<— releasing this TUESDAY Sept 22nd – TOMORROW!!! )
Ooooooofffffff!!! OH MY GOD I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard for a book before in my life (and this isn’t a “death” one, I promise). This is all about life, and living… or trying to.

Anyone that enjoyed “After I Do” will get me, with this one. It has that feel, but I’m almost tempted to say, even more intense at times. Or maybe it was just me? This week? ‘Cause I could NOT stop crying. In fact, I think the last time it’s been this bad, was when I read The Host a few years ago… like many years and tears ago (and if you read that review, you’ll know how bad I was…).

HOLY. MOLY. It took me FOREVER to read this… but not because I didn’t love it. But because I could barely read through the darn tears. I cried… and I cried. And I sobbed. And I sniffled… and pouted… and giggled, and “virtually snuggled her dog” and sobbed and laughed, and cried and cried and cried and cried. I. AM. EXHAUSTED.

And I started crying practically from the start, and didn’t stop to about ohh… I dunno… 85… 90%? *snort* You guys. Don’t let that scare you. I cried, because I KNOW…. I KNOW EVERY SINGLE PERSON can relate to this book in some way or another.

So BEAUTIFULLY written, so real, so infuriating, so frustrating, so powerful… so sad. So hopeless. SO hopeful. It encompasses EVERYTHING anyone that has been in a serious relationship has eventually gone through (married or not), but the fact that divorce factors into this one BIG time, anyone that has ever been, or contemplated being separated or divorced, this one is TO BE READ!!!!!!!

We might be good people separately, but we were monsters together.

I was doing the right thing. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to live a life without screaming and name calling. I wanted to breathe again.

Not because it’s a cautionary tale for everyone in this situation (I truly believe every relationship and personality is different, every circumstance leading to a potential endings have their reasons, many valid and necessary), but, I dunno. I just feel like everyone in a relationship, would benefit from reading this one in some way. Even if it be to just… have a good, deep, soulful cry. I can’t imagine the author didn’t cry her eyes out, too, writing this. This one hurts!

Maybe we were really better as friends. Maybe we had to get out of our marriage in order to appreciate the other person for who he or she was.

GAH!!!! The internal dialogue, the grievances (whether valid or exaggerated) will have you RIGHT THERE with her. And you know what? Probably even RIGHT THERE with him, too!!!

“I have been trying! What do you think I’ve been doing for the past seven years? I’ve been trying every single day! And it’s not enough! It’s never enough! I cannot keep doing this day in and day out. I can’t keep pretending that things are okay and then falling apart every time we start arguing. Nick, I’m exhausted in my bones. You’re a good person, but it’s like I bring out the absolute worst in you. And the same is true about me! I’m fun. I’m a really fun person. People like me! All of the people except you…”

‘Cause in this one? Neither one is the villain. Neither one is necessarily wrong, or the “bad guy”. Neither one has done anything outwardly… “wrong” to the other… you won’t even find yourself taking a side. Because BOTH have taken each other for granted, not supported each other in ways that the other needed, perhaps even allowed one to take on the brunt of the relationship. Most of the “effort”. To the point that both completely lost themselves, lost their “happy”, lost their love, and lost each other in the process. This is a case of circumstance and emphasis on all the wrong things in life. Too many years of too little effort. Or maybe too much effort, but just in all the wrong ways. No matter. Their need to be apart is inevitable.

I had never known this kind of depression before. I could hardly tolerate my soon to be ex-husband and yet his absence left me unexpectedly battered.

And it’s what they learned while they are apart that had me sobbing into my pillow.

Recording my reactions would have been this… all the way through… with a ton of UGLY crying. Oh I have that picture, too. *yikes!* I tried to compose myself enough for a more normal looking one… like this. Ugly crying? Yeah… that’s real. I have proof.

Maryse: I’m finishing a book that I’ve pretty much cried through, from start to “almost-finished”. It’s been an awesome read, but my heart aches. BADLY! I’ll be reviewing it tonight.  I didn’t record myself, ’cause it would have just been a big red-nosed, puffy-faced, ugly cry fest and nobody wants to see that.   LOL!

bev: No hint?

Maryse: Every Wrong Reason. It certainly has that “After I Do” feel…

bev: Yes, Maryse, that’s the one Amy wanted. Lol.

Theresa: Oh and I love Rachel Higginson…can’t wait to read the review for Every Wrong Reason…I have that on my list for purchase!

Maryse: DAMN THIS BOOK that won’t let me stop crying… will it ever stop? I swear I’ve been reading it for days ’cause I can’t see through my tears…and crying makes me sleepy.

Maryse: OMG I swear 75% is about to kill me… i’m reading, sobbing and pacing…. I seriously don’t know how I’m gonna finish this… I’m almost there but i keep needing breaks, and to re-connect with you guys so I can calm down. Its why I switched to “Fugly” for a bit… figured maybe I was being hormonal? LOL!!!! And here I am… still trying to finish this one. It’s fabulous… and heartbreaking…

bev: Lol. Its given you a head ache and made you sleepy…. but it’s “awesome.”  

Maryse: Ugh… 89%… I’m a mess. I took a picture. I may include it in the review but it’s not pretty…*snort* Eh… this story is not pretty either, so it’s fitting….

Cheryl: MARYSE- that makes my heart hurt just thinking about reading Every Wrong Reason. Brings back memories of reading After I Do. I better stock up on Kleenex before tuesday!

Tessa: You’re scaring me Maryse. 0.0

Amy: You’re killing me here, Maryse…Badger didn’t make me ugly cry but I need an emotional “pressure release” book after it, and EWR sounds *perfect* for that! Gimme, gimme, gimme!!!!  *sigh* Fine…since I have to wait until Tuesday,

bev: I wonder how the Damn book is treating Maryse?

Amy: Yeah…she did “damn” that book, so you KNOW it’s going to be rough if it has her full-on swearing without symbols. 

*snort* OMG I TOTALLY CURSED!!! *gasp* IN PUBLIC!!!! See? SEEEEEEEE how this book affected me? I threw caution to the wind and cursed in writing!!!!! LOL!!!! AHhhhhhhhh you guys it was AH-MAZING!!! This is yet another new “favorite author” of mine. First “The Five Stages of Falling in Love” and then THIS one? HOLY MOLY amazing-author alert!!!!!!!!!

But does it fix them? Living separately? Does it solve everything they were searching for?

We might be different people now.

But he still knew me better than anyone else.

And did they (SHE!!!! LOL!!) drive me crazy at times? OH GOSH YES (to that last part, at least). I will let you take their journey with them, and you will see. Through your tears, that is.

Why did it hurt so much? If this was what we both wanted, why did it feel like death instead of life?

I had loved this man once. I had loved him more than anything else in life. And now we treated each other like enemies.

So all that to say… this may devastate you… or this may elate you, and it did BOTH to me.

Any book that is poignantly written as to make me feel EVERY SINGLE moment in her life (we’re always “her”, by the way), any book that feels like it was written by someone that has ABSOLUTELY BEEN THERE, any book that embeds itself into my heart this deeply and can both break, and make my week, is my favorite!!

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” I asked the mess.

Kara was quiet for a long time and when she finally spoke, her voice was gentle and reserved. “Do you think you’re making a mistake?”

5 STARS!!!!

The end. *phew* wow…. yeah… no makeup. What’s the point? LOL!

P.S. It took me about FOUR days to read this book…. and NOT because the book wasn’t good (OMG I LOVED THE ENTIRE BOOK!!!), but because I cried too much. READ IT!!! I wholeheartedly put my whole heart behind this one, and I can assure you… the author did too. And yes… if you let yourself go…. give yourself to this one’s realism, you WILL FEEL IT like I did. But it is SO WORTH IT. I promise!!!!

P.P.S. Thank you so much to the author for sending me a review copy!! You’re killing me. Seriously. 

Tagged as: 5 stars, contemporary romance, divorce, marital strife, Rachel Higginson, tearjerker