Undead and Unwed
Hey, everyone! Welcome back. I see some of us brought shifters again. If they are not housebroken they have to stay outside, seriously. One of them peed on the rug, and another attempted to eat something from the trash and got sick in the tub. Come on guys, I already had to glue her fave lamp back together with Gorilla Glue, then get Oops to clean up all the glue that dripped off, and now I’m looking for dye for the carpet, because, did you know Oops takes the color out of fabric? I didn’t know this. Plus MadHatter put SOMETHING in the toilet. I have no idea what and I am scared to ask what it was, but I tell you finding the blankets in the closet to absorb up the mess was nightmare. They were in plastic bags and everything. I still haven’t found the missing chewing gum yet.
We all need to agree to be a little more careful while we are here. I’m sure she won’t mind ya’ll being here, but let’s try to keep it clean, please?
So as I told you last week we were going to talk about the Queen today. Mary Janice Davidson writes a hysterical series starting with Undead and Unwed.
“The day I died started out bad and got worse in a hurry.”
This is the first line of the book and I was hooked. Elizabeth “Betsy” Taylor is a young woman who tried to be a model but was bored with it, and then turned professional temp. She ended up being a secretary but got fired from that on the day she died. Thus begins the hilarity that is Betsy. How would you react if you woke up in a funeral home, in a casket wearing cheap shoes? Yep she freaked out. Then refused to admit she might be dead. Dead people don’t walk around and lisp. OK maybe they do. The most amazing part of this book for me was everyone’s acceptance of her being a vampire. Her mom just shrugs and makes her dinner, and her best friend helps her steal her shoes back from the evil step mother.
I have to say though when Betsy is being “Welcomed” into the local vampire scene her mouth was priceless. All of her snarky reactions were wonderful including when she met the most powerful vampire in the city. His name is Norstro and she calls him “Nostril” displaying no fear of the situation at hand as she strides into the cemetery and mocks Norstro and pretty much tells him he can keep his creepy loser club. Upon her exit from the weirdness of the Undead she runs into a wonderfully hot man-vamp. Sinclair (all who like hot men please *sigh* here) who gives her a panty melting kiss. She then throws him through a headstone and runs away.
Turns out Sinclair and his maker Tina are out to help her overthrow the tyrant Nostro and help her claim her rebirth right of Queen. Wait, Queen of the Vampires? No, thanks. Betsy wants no part of this but ends up roped into it, and you have to see what they bribe her with….LOL is all I can say.
*crosses legs and sits Indian style on the coffee table* Sinclair! Oh he is swoon worthy and Betsy’s new friend Marc (guy who she saved from jumping to his death and then made a small snack out of who then moved in with her) likes him too. Jess (Betsy’s BFF) loves him and even her Mother thinks he is off the chain. The only one who seems to dislike him is Betsy but even she can’t help but notice how wonderful he is. I have to say the part where he makes a deal with her that one day she will need his help and he will give it, provided she puts something of his in her mouth was totally hot even if it was blackmail. Wait till you see what she puts in her mouth! Oh Cheese and Crackers it was great. Let’s just say I had an over the top reaction to it! *wink, wink*
Wait, was that another crash? Please, please, please tell me the person with the monkey didn’t let him in the wine cellar! Oh I am so going to be dead again! Awww man, look at this place! I am going to have to hire professional cleaners for this mess! I already spent all my spending money on “Choco-Blood” a new mix of Chocolate and Blood (Genius right?!) how am I ever going to get this mess cleaned up? Aww man, I don’t know if Grand-maker is coming by today *looks nervous* but maybe I can keep her outside this time. Next time I will tell you more about our fair Queen Betsy in the next installment of the series called Undead and Unemployed. Bye guys, I need to clean up.
I am happily addicted to reading but I need to expend my book energy (especially when one puts me in an emotional frenzy - SO fun!). So, I release my feelings about the stories, by writing them down here. It's my book therapy. 
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
If there was a monkey there that means Wren was by. I bet he ate my gum too. Damn were’s. LOL
I absolutely loved this book…i was laughing all the way thru it…Betsy,,,is so funny my favorite part well there were 2 how Sinclair and bunch were trying to lure her with shoes and at the end,,when they had sex in the pool,,,and she realized she had an audience..lol hystarical…cant wait to read the next one…
JimiAnn – I’m not sure who brought the monkey but I bet it was Marvin. He was also the one that maybe damaged Maryse’s bedroom wallpaper. I will have to ask Wren if Marvin is hanging with anyone new these days.
Jennifer – I loved this book, and the whole series. I just started reading them about a month ago and just finished book 4, gah – I have to say I love her characters, you really put yourself in the scene and can’t help but laugh. My fave line of the book had to be this:
“Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy…. The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!”
And following that up a little bit later:
“I slipped one of the shoes off, looked at the inside. Property of Antonia O’Neill Taylor. I knew it. My stepmother! The bitch meant to bury me wearing her cast off shoes!”
Oh I died. I laughed so hard, that was the moment I was truly in love with her.
Um… Lily… You know Maryse’s new pink special order ultra soft microfiber couch she just got for the gameroom? Yeah… There are black paw prints all over it… I also saw a white wolf outside the sliding glass door… I am betting it’s Fury… Maybe…
Yoooo Hoooo Lily… where are you… how come I can’t open the damn door!… you know Maryse will be here soon, just making sure you got everything in order, wouldn’t want her to have a fit and start gnawing… on your leg… she did take a few bad habits at my place with my Newton for company, but Hey! what can I do… I love all my kids equal whether on 2 legs or 4 legs… or with long teeth! ok… I guess I’ll go home and get my spare keys! ; )
Jimi – thanks for the heads up. I am going to call Amiee right now and have her get his fury butt down here to clean that up – Maryse will give me my final death over that couch. I am going to give Lia a call and tell her to bring his furry butt back over to clean it up if it was him.
GRANDMAKER! – So good to see you dropping by. Everything will be order soon. The BDB boys are going to come over for a little while tonight but then I will get this place back to her spotless perfection. I hope.
I happen to know MaryJanice Alongi, and her muse for SinkLair, Anthony, her husband. I’ve been meaning to admonish him for not giving Mary enough inspiration of late.
Needless to say, his parents’ friends heads almost explode at the mention of Mary’s books, and its so much fun to set them off!