Tonight’s reader confession comes to us… by bev. Well, actually. No. She STARTED it, and then guessed so many of our “personal ads” and was pretty darn spot on.
And then we all jumped in too. AND I KNOW YOU GUYS wanna write an ad, with us, so let’s get our BOOK-BOYFRIEND PERSONALS STARTED!!! 😀
Come to think of it, we don’t have BEV’S personal ad on here. Hmmmm… I think WE need to come up with for HER. 😉
Okay so here’s how it started…
“bev: I keep thinking about if the ladies here made Match.com profiles about what they like in book heroes:
Jean: Looking for a man with a body of steel but a glass heart who likes to play Nurse and patient.
Amy: Must have tattoos but no beard. Looking for a man to fall deeply in love with and who is not afraid to die in the end.
Maryse: Looking for a man who is dark, but not too dark. He must have insomnia but I will cure it if he is willing to sneak in my room at night and sleep beside me. A must: a credible rendition of Satisfaction when I am feeling blue.
Leslie: Looking for an 18 year old who SPARKLES. May apply glitter if needed. Must like the cheerleader and pigtails type.
Ela: My inner Goddess is looking for 20 year old billionaire full of man pain. He must like the color red and spending weekends at home depot.
Jan: LOL bev! Looking for a tall, muscled alpha with long dark hair led back in a queue. Must look good in a puffy shirt, hint of manly chest hair showing. Able to rip bodices open with one hand.
R. Renee: Mine is: Must be tall, really tall, even though I’m 5 ft. Must have intelligent sense of humor. Must have intelligence. No beard, scruff okay. Tats? Whatever. Brown hair preferred over blonde, black hair on exception. Must be thin with light “everyday” muscles. No bulk. Boyish facial features = bonus. Needs manners. Experienced in bed, but has never had sex with anyone else. Amazing cook of zero calorie meals. Rides unicorns, farts diamonds, and bleeds chocolate. And most importantly, LOVES talking about books.
Ela: OH I like this game! And Damn Robin YOU got it all covered, however, I would add that he cooks, cleans, and does laundry! Oh you got “he cooks” covered…. Ok then I would add he loves taking me designer brand shopping and of course is a multi billionaire! I wouldn’t mind THE piercing and some tats but not too much…just classy enough….*snickers* Oh Robin….were you talking about JD in that profile???
R. Renee: LOL I’d say that’s a fairly accurate description, right? Although JD has a beard sometimes and on him, I’ll make an exception.
bev: You ladies are a delight. 🙂 Except R, I’d totally be all “You know those are fart diamonds she wears, right?”
Ela: bahahahahahah “she wears fart diamonds” …..what’s that smell? Are those your diamonds??? bev? That sounds too complicated and wordy… just sayin’
Maryse: HOLY MOLY BEV!!! It’s like you KNOW me! HOWEVER!!!! I want to include must be a TRUE bad-ass that can defeat anyone, but still have a heart like Travis that will break and OVERFLOW with LOVE, and devotion to the point of trainwreckerage. P.S. And you may have insomnia and snuggle me all you want while I sleep, but be forwarned: if it’s after midnight, you MUST let me SLEEP.*snort* No. Seriously. 🙂
Leslie M: I have spit out my coffee multiple times this a.m. due to all the craziness!!! (Amy’s “not afraid to die in the end” was THE BEST) Let’s see….my perfect H would be a sexy, smirking, dimpled, classic car-driving, rockstar with tortured past that is so in love with me, he steals me from his best friend. He also loves coffee & cuddling. How do you like that, Bev? 😉
A broody, gentlemanly, sparkly, volvo-driving, virgin immortal.
Tessa: OOOH this sounds like a fun game. Looking for a man with extremely broad shoulders and muscular arms. Must like music, have a high IQ, love traveling and adventures, be protective, and have a**hole tendencies. Dark haired preferred. Sexy lips a must! Lol What’s with the virgins? I want a manwhore who knows what he’s doing. 😛
bev: LOL. I’m loving the images. I will now expect Jan’s husband to have flowing hair and wear puffy shirts and always stand with his chest out.
Ela: Ela in search of the perfect male specimen: Must be fully male! No transgenders need apply, sorry just my preference I like the REAL c*ck. Speaking of c*ck, preferably between 6-8 inches with at least a 2 inch circumference and man-scaped. If you’re close I will accept inspections IF all other requirements are met. Must be taller than 5′ 9″. Broad, finely muscled not too bulky, dark haired not too long and not to short (stylish), some chest hair acceptable, NO beard goatee ok, hairless back other hair ok. Must be smart, know how to cook, and do laundry accurately. Must love me unconditionally but not give in to my every whim (I don’t want a whipped pus*y). Must be self sustained, make a good living and willing to spoil me or let me spoil myself. Would love light eyes like blue or green but I’ll make this an exception. I wouldn’t mine THAT piercing, tattoos welcome but not too many. LMAO *May apply glitter* Oh and I forgot to add he must clean.
bev: Ela, you are right. That is much more succinct and uncomplicated. Lol. 😉
Ela: See I knew you’d agree bev! I think I may have described Christian Grey???
bev: Ela: My inner Goddess is looking for 20 year old billionaire full of man pain. He must like the color red and spending weekends at home depot.
Ela: Hmmmmm…buying rope and plastic ties??? Lover’s lane probably has the more comfy cuffs and sh*t…
Leslie M: Thank goodness I finished my 3rd and final cup of coffee. Bev, ROFL. Tessa, I picked one of each. A man-whore (Kellan) and a virgin (Edward). OH MY GOD!!! *smacks self on forehead* I can’t believe I forgot about the world’s sexiest virgin EVER!!! James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser aka Jamie from Outlander. DUH!!!!
Grey: *dies* omg… Y’all are too much. I’m trying to decide if I want you to write mine… Or if I should write my own…
Amy: Oh wow bev…you just described my hubby!! But you left out the muscles part. 😉 “What’s with the virgins? I want a manwhore who knows what he’s doing.” <—- LOL!!!!!! OMG you ladies are HILARIOUS! I’m loving all of your “standards.” 😀
Jean: OMG, you guys are nuts!! Of course, bev got that whole thing rolling! I can’t stop laughing!! bev, you pretty much had mine right. Must be broken and need saving! Tessa, I like big and bulky!! LOL!
MichelleS: Michelle: looking for a brooding type, smart, alpha, dirty talker, dark hair, grey eyes, and if you sprout wings when you’re turned on, then you’re my man!!
Maryse: in search of a bad boy, a bit broken, scars ok, just let me fix you!
Maryse: MichelleS: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
Maryse: P.S. YES!! Add big and bulky to mine. We all know Travis was. 🙂
bev: Lol. Maryse: Looking for the jealous type who is strong enough to punch out other men and then carry me off over his shoulder. Must like Pigeons.
Maryse: LOL!!!!!!! YESSSSS. YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSS!!! EXACTLY!! How do you guys KNOW me this well???????? 😛
Tessa: Oh good. We have variety. Some like lean and some like bulky. That makes more sense. Michelle, you forgot to add magic ability a plus!
Jan: You guys are nuts. Why do I drink my morning coffee while I’m catching up on last night’s blog? I should know better. *wipes away droplets of coffee snorted out numerous times onto keyboard*
Okay now YOU guys… jump in!!!! :D!!!