Undead and Unemployed
Ugh. I’m awake! QUIT POKING ME! Geez, I’m up, I’m up. What happened? Why is the house more of mess than it was when you left last time?! Oh, never mind. I remember now. The BDB came over and we may have played some drinking games. Ugh, my head is killing me. No one told me being undead means that I still get drunk. I swear. A little information sharing is what needs to happen. You know like guide book. “Welcome to death. This is how it works.” Or something like that. Man, can you pass me the Tylenol? Sorry, I am out of blood, I guess people don’t take byob to heart anymore.
Anyways let’s just talk about books so I can forget why I have a lampshade on my head and there are chicken feathers all over the place.
We were talking about Mary Janice Davidson’s Undead series and are going to continue with the misadventures of Queen Betsy in book two “Undead and Unemployed”.
A few months have passed since Betsy took the throne and she is still struggling with the idea of it all. To make things worse her home has termites, and she has no job. In an effort to make herself feel better she goes to the Alter of Goodness aka the Shoe Department in the Macy’s at the Mall of America. She outwits the shoe clerk with her knowledge of designer shoes and the manager offers her job, so of course she takes it – can you say employee discount?
Betsy gets the problem of a job solved only to learn there is someone out there killing the vampires. As she is the queen she has to come up with a plan to stop this. Using the best plan she can think of (which constantly makes me wonder if she is too stupid to live) she offers herself up as bait. Well guess what? A big blond vampire with her not so well hidden friends is not enough to entice the killer to jump out of a dumpster. But a big dumb blond that sends her friends away while she goes to get in her car is. She meets the “Blade Warriors” and promptly makes fun of their name. You know you would too.
Now she has a pack of rabid teenagers with a goofy name and crossbows hunting her vampires, and a boss that insists she has to sell the shoes to people even if she doesn’t think they deserve them. I love the internal dialogue that Besty has, she makes me laugh so hard. Like this when she walks up to a customer in the store and scares the foxtrot out of her:
“Nice work Betsy, you retard. You’ve gone from refusing to sell to your customers to scaring the sh*t out of them. Stupid undead quiet feet.”
Oh how I laughed, mostly because I would have this same conversation myself. There are also her reactions to Sinclair:
“Not to mention the devil’s mouth. The man could kiss, and that was a fact. It was one of the more infuriating things about him. He’d never asked to kiss me. Not once. Just took what he liked. I hated him, and I hated myself for wanting him.”
Alpha vampire’s are so hot. Specially Sinclair. *sigh* I do love me some Alpha Vamps. Speaking of Alpha vamps I am going to give Wrath a call and see if they could send some doggen over here to help me with this mess! Maryse will be back soon……I can feel it, and I really don’t want to get steaked over this crap. Ugh, my hangover is still kicking my head in and now I have a mountain of stuff to clean. I have no idea why the pool is purple or what happened to the hedges. My grandmaker almost caught me last time I think. For real this time I am going to clean up. Till next time ya’ll!