I consider Lily, the queen of quotes. She collects them. Like stamps. I swear she could probably write a diary of her life and thoughts by way of deep and meaningful, or dark and gritty yet humorous quotes she has collected from various sorts of literature (and I mean various! She reads everything! She rocks!).
Lucky for me, she has gathered many of her favorite Eric Northman quotes, and organized them here for us to swoon, giggle and of course, fume over. I think she has captured his essence quite nicely 😉
So without further ado…take it away, Lily!
When I think of Christmas, I think of fires, death, mistrust and evil. Why you ask? Christmas time is when most house fires occur, more people kill themselves, more burglaries happen, and in general people are looking to take advantage of others. So, that leads me to thinking about people who take advantage of others. Who comes to mind? None other than Eric Northman, of course.
Keeping in the Christmas spirit for my maker – she loves this time of year – I have brought good will and cheer, in the form of quotes about and from Mr. January himself – Eric Northman.
Book One – Dead Until Dark (Not a whole lotta Eric in this one)
Eric appeared to be counting my eyelashes. I tried to keep my gaze on my hands, to indicate modesty. I felt power tweaks kind of flow over me and had an uneasy feeling Eric was trying to influence me. I risked a quick peek, and sure enough he was looking at me expectantly. Was I supposed to pull off my dress? Bark like a dog? Kick Bill in the shins?
Too bad she didn’t try to act any of that stuff out. Hilarity would ensue.
“Eric is much better looking than I am”, Bill said, “He is more powerful, and I understand sex with him is unforgettable”.
*fans self* HOW TRUE.
Book Two – Living Dead in Dallas
Sookie: “By the way, I haven’t heard an “I’m sorry” from you yet.”
Eric: “I am sorry that the maenad picked on you.”
Sookie: “Not enough.”
Eric: “Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked, evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body in an attempt to deliver a message to me.”
Sookie: “That’s more like it.”
Hehehehe, ok maybe I shouldn’t laugh that Sookie was attacked AGAIN, but hey that is one hell of an apology.
Eric: What a lot of trouble you are, Sookie.
Oh, just wait Eric, there is soooo much more to come.
Eric: “I knew I’d get on top of you somehow,” he said.
Sookie: “Are you trying to make me mad so I’ll forget how scared I am?”
Eric: “No, I’m just opportunistic.”
I wiggled, trying to get out from under him, and he said, “Oh, do that again. It felt great.”
I personally volunteer any and all “wiggling” services, Mr. Northman.
Eric said “I am here,”
“And I am here.” I was a little amused at Eric’s phone answering technique.
“Sookie, my little bullet-sucker,” he said, sounding fond and warm.
“Eric, my big bullshitter.”
I could just see the rage rolling off of her in this scene.
Sookie: “Hey, our hair’s the same color,”
Eric: “Sure is, girlfriend.” “But are you blond all the way down?”
Sookie: “Don’t you wish you knew?”
Eric: “Yes,”
Sookie: “Well, you’ll just have to wonder.”
Eric: “I am,” he said. “Blond everywhere.”
*FANS SELF HARDER* Whew….yeah……
Book Three – Club Dead
Sookie: “Eric, What are you doing here?”
Eric: “Snuggling.”
Sookie: “You son of a bitch! I thought you were Bill! I thought he was back!”
Eric: “Sookie, You need a shower.”
Sookie: “What?”
Eric: Your hair is dirty, and your breath could knock down a horse.”
Well, that’s the way to charm her Mr. Viking.
Eric: “I don’t enjoy seeing you scared of me; I have always been very fond of you. Plus, I want to f**& you.”
Well, they say honesty is a virtue.
Eric: “How grateful are you?”
Sookie: “That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that,” I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. “You shouldn’t want me to have sex with you just because I owe you.”
Eric: “I don’t really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it,”
I think they should make tact a virtue too.
“I don’t like having feelings,” Eric said coldly, and he left. That was a tough exit line to top.
Wow, now THAT is a line.
Eric: “You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful.”
This is one of my personal FAVE lines from the books.
“My Sookie hid a corpse?”
“I don’t think you can be too sure about that possessive pronoun.”
“Where did you learn that term, Northman?”
“I took ‘English as a Second Language’ at a community college in the seventies.”
Bill said, “She is mine.”
I wondered if my hands would move. They would. I raised both of them, making an unmistakable one fingered gesture.
Eric laughed, and Bill said, “Sookie!” in shocked admonishment.
“I think that Sookie is telling us she belongs to herself,” Eric said softly.
Now, that is just funny. At least Eric never busted out with the “groovy” – I mean he took English in the 70’s – there’s no telling what they taught him.
Eric was wearing silk boxers. I would have figured him for a Jockey man. The silk boxers were royal blue. He spread his legs and I could see up the leg hole. Oh, Lord. I had to close my eyes. He laughed.
Don’t feel bad Sookie, I’da looked too.
Book Four – Dead to the World – My favorite in the series. (sidenote from Maryse —> MINE TOO!!!)
“If you do something that gets my sister hurt, you’ll be in a world of trouble,” Jason told Eric the vampire.
“I would expect nothing less,” Eric said. “But since you are being blunt with me, I’ll be blunt with you. I think you should support her and take her into your household, so she would be better protected.”
Jason’s mouth fell open again, and I had to cover my own so I wouldn’t laugh out loud. This was even better than I’d imagined.
Ok, this makes me laugh out loud, Eric not remembering that it is no longer normal for unmarried women to live alone without a man’s protection and setting Jason straight – priceless.
There was certainly plenty of Eric to see, because he was so tall and he hadn’t wrapped the robe very tightly…I closed my eyes.
“Do you need something?” Eric asked anxiously.
(Sookie thought to self) More self-control.
Yeah, I might lack that virtue too….
Eric and Sookie are talking about Lorena and the fight to save Bill and Sookie refers to her as vampire ho, Eric questions:
“And what happened to the vampire ho?”
You know you laughed.
I stroked Eric’s hair, tucking some behind his ear. His eyes on mine were intent, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak. “I wish,” I said, “I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I had a few extra.”
Eric’s eyes widened, and all of a sudden he roared with laughter.
Oy.
He put a finger under my chin so I would raise my eyes to his. “No,” he said quietly. “You took me in off the road and kept me safe. You’re ready to fight for me. I can tell this about you. I can’t believe my luck. When this witch is defeated, I would bring you to my side. I will share everything I have with you. Every vampire who owes me fealty will honor you.”
*SIGH* Ok.
Eric: “We could go back,” he said. In the dome light of the car, his face looked hard as stone. “We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other’s bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you.” His nostrils flared, and he looked suddenly proud. “I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you.”
Sookie: “Sounds like a marriage,” I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But my voice was too shaky.
Eric: “Yes,” he said.
And that was the sound of my heart beating right out of chest and directly to Shreveport.
Book Five – Dead as a Doornail
Eric: “What did we do, Sookie? And to whom?”
Sookie: “It was chicken blood. I killed a chicken and cooked it,” I lied
“Sookie, Sookie. My bullshit meter is reading that as a ‘false,’ ” Eric said, shaking his head in a chiding way.
You would think by NOW, she would stop trying to lie to him!
Eric: “Did we have sex?” he asked directly.
Sookie: For about two minutes, this might actually be fun. “Eric,” I said, “we had sex in every position I could imagine, and some I couldn’t. We had sex in every room in my house, and we had sex outdoors. You told me it was the best you’d ever had.” (At the time he couldn’t recall all the sex he’d ever had. But he’d paid me a compliment.) “Too bad you can’t remember it,” I concluded with a modest smile.
And here is where I would have said – Want me to prove it?
Eric: “You are hugging too many people”.
Just when you thought you could forget he was a possessive vampire.
Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.
I’d finally found something Eric did poorly.
Don’t feel bad Eric, a lot of men can’t sweep.
ERIC: “Should I just bite you, and end it all?” he whispered. “I would never have to think about you again. Thinking about you is an annoying habit, and one I want to be rid of. Or should I start arousing you, and discover if sex with you was really the best I’ve ever had?”
Sookie, sometimes you are too stupid to live. Take door number two! Take door number two!
Eric: “We’re expanding our Fangtasia product line.”
Sookie: “Oh?”
Eric: “Yes. What would you think of a nude calendar? ‘Fangtasia’s Vampire Hunks’ is what Pam thinks it should be called.”
Sookie: “Are you gonna be in it?”
Eric: “Oh, of course. Mr. January.”
Well duh, Sookie!
Eric: “You said I told you you were the best I’d ever had, but did you respond in kind?”
Sookie: “Don’t you wish you knew?”
Oh, yes, he sure does.
I can’t remember if this line was directed about a conversation Eric and Pam were having, or where it really fell but this line is another from the series I love:
“Food that walked and talked, that was us. McPeople”
There are five more books in the series, and I will cover those awesome Eric quotes then.
Did this bring you a little Northman Christmas cheer? Have a great holiday everyone. Hugs to all.
Interested in the series? Here is the entire reading order guide —> Charlaine Harris – Southern Vampire Mysteries Reading Order:
Interested in Lily?! It’s no secret that I love her no-holds-barred wit! She makes me laugh a ton (in our daily chats) and, of course on her blog so make sure to check her out: —> Lilium’s Realm (she’s silly, introspective, dark and beyond funny – but beware – she hates unicorns!!)
LOl I love Eric!